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The Magnificent Seven Review (2016) | Mediocre and Empty

The Magnificent Seven is a stale tale left on the mercy of gun-power to prop it. We have seen so many cowboy movies hitherto that if there isn’t something new to it, it becomes an instant bore. The Magnificent Seven is no different. However, the movie isn’t exactly bad either. It hangs around in its mediocrity. Alas! it goes nowhere.

The Magnificent Seven is a remake of the 1960 movie of the same name. However it has nothing new to offer, not even an angle or a culmination point. What it offers is even a washed down version of itself. This new version is like a child’s whim where he is trying to create a story to shoot thousands of hooligans. I am afraid, it is almost as if Antoine Fuqua decided to round up everybody just to shoot ‘em up.


There aren’t any dope shots that are going to pop your eyes out. It doesn’t have proper gore either, that could have at least piqued the interest of gore lovers. Not even a clichéd hand to hand combat with the boss. Everything is done by the book. The book here is a gun of course.

There are some crazy hits in the movie nevertheless that are going to leave your jaws wide open. The time when the Gatling gun is brought in, it will have you biting your fingernails. Billy Rocks played by Byung-hun Lee is a complete badass. His swift knife movements are the ones to watch out for.


The Magnificent Seven lacks a proper melodrama for you to actually stop and care for the fallen. You don’t feel sorry for the villagers at all. Drama isn’t dramatic that gnaws away the element of pain from it. Emma Cullen played by Haley Bennett goes nowhere when you give her dialogues like these:

I seek righteousness. But I will take revenge.

still of haley bennett as Emma Cullen in The Magnificent Seven movie

Screenplay reeks purely with witty and cheesy lines that mostly come from The World’s Greatest Lover Josh Faraday played convincingly well by Chris Pratt, whose love making we don’t get to see, so it ends up becoming a mere assertion. Even though the screenplay comes from the likes of Nic Pizzolatto, we don’t end up with anything profound to chew upon. It is one of those factors that take its levels of spectacle down a notch.


Peter Saarsgard as Bartholomew Bogue looks very promising as the villain of the Magnificent Seven, when he starts off with the role. Unfortunately with no substance to back him up, he goes down in an instant. Eventually, as the movie tries to reach that final face-off he lets us down again. All that perversion that he carried throughout goes in a whiff, against the fury of Chisolm, the bounty hunter played by badassery of Denzel Washington. Bogue becomes a villain you forget the moment you leave the theatre.

still of Vincent D'onofrio as Jack Horne in the Magnificent Seven movie

I love how Vincent D’Onofrio does experiments on himself. This time he creates something different altogether, with that wheezing and breaking voice of his. It becomes hard to tell if Vincent is behind all that flab.

Denzel’s character stays extraordinary too with his heroic demeanor. Chris Pratt brings in that element of fun to the movie. Ethan Hawke is good but he carries a jaded plot that washes him down. He goes away only to return again without expanding on his sub-plot. Well, Billy Rocks!

Vasquez played by Manuel Garcia-Rulfo though no doubt confident, ends up becoming the least impact maker. It is like he was chosen just for the odd pairing. Martin Sensmeier‘s Red Harvest is well, red.


The music of The Magnificent Seven will remain the last known work of the legendary James Horner. The legend died in an unfortunate plane crash last year. His music however still lives on and will forever.

With inputs and arrangements by Simon Franglen, the music of The Magnificent Seven stays top-notch throughout. It skips well over the strings of that cowboyish theme, trying its level best to bring the flick to its proper course.

You can preorder the movie here:


I really think it could have been better if there was an unseen card lurking somewhere in the pockets of the director. Or even awe-inspiring theatrics to balance the theme would have done justice. But alas! The Magnificent Seven had none.

You can check out the trailer of The Magnificent Seven 2016 here:

The Equalizer Review (2014)

Something that would catch your attention ASAP – The Score of The Equalizer! The composition is very Jesper Kyd-ish. It almost instantly sent me back in time. Brilliant notes by Harry Gregson-Williams that wouldn’t let you lose focus. The movie literally runs on Harry’s brilliance. He uplifts even bleak scenes and makes them super rad. I was swaying even before the flick started.

Antoine Fuqua’s direction is breathtaking. Every frame has a story to tell and he masters it superbly. Denzel is mesmerizing. The fact it was a Denzel movie itself was reason enough for me to watch this film. His face has this gravity that he pulls off so brilliantly, that only a few could nail. As Chloe puts it perfectly:

“Your eyes are not sad. They are just lost.”

The movie breathes on gore. Super cool scenes of amazing kills, bullet time and Denzel’s sixth sense perception are absolutely thrilling to watch. The screenplay simply trickles down with thoughtful words.

The most badass scene in the movie is when Robert meets Teddy. Time stops by when they have “the conversation”.

If we want an agent or a merc, we want him to be like Robert McCall. Period.