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The Hitman’s Bodyguard Review (2017) | An Act of Deliberate Plotting

The Hitman’s Bodyguard is as weird, absurd and fun as it sounds by the very title of it. Doesn’t that give away a bit of a plot as well? So, we already knew the nub of the tale even before walking into the theatre. Of course, oblivious to how much comedy the movie was going to pack in. The good news is that the movie is exactly what it promises to deliver by that moniker. The bad news is that there is nothing serious going on in here, so even if you try your best to find something somber, trust me, it isn’t. It is written in all good fun, and I guess, supposed to be enjoyed like that.

The Hitman’s Bodyguard is solely driven with “seat belts” on by Samuel L. Jackson. Even though you feel like the movie’s title is about the bodyguard Ryan Reynolds and not the hitman himself, you are dead wrong. Ryan is just an uptight rabbit, no matter how good he is on the field, he forever stays below the real deal Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson.

Oh, by the way, there’s probably no one in the world who says “Motherfucker” better than this guy. And that somehow makes his dialogues enjoyable. I think he writes over his screenplay.

This guy single-handedly ruined the word motherfucker.

Plot and Direction of The Hitman’s Bodyguard (Spoilers)

As mentioned earlier The Hitman’s Bodyguard isn’t keen on showing you genuine action. The action is wrapped in comedy and so if you think there is a serious scene about to come, be wary it has just been shot for cheap thrills. Not to give you any unadulterated adrenaline rush.

The character of Samuel L. Jackson, Darius Kincaid, being the real hero of the flick, does smug things, acts as if he is the boss, and keeps condescending the bodyguard Michael Bryce (Ryan Reynolds) who is asked to save his ass.

still from The Hitman's Bodyguard

It almost seems like the concept was imagined first, and then a story was written all around it. Like why would a Hitman require a bodyguard in the first place? Unless he’s injured, right? Let’s injure him. And why would the bodyguard be protecting him? Unless he has been hired or forced to, of course. For our hitman to be badass it would be too beneath him to call for help, so let someone else do that. So there’s a woman Amelia Roussel played by Elodie Yung. Since it’s a bodyguard protecting the Hitman, he has to be the best, or there’s really no point. Let’s make him the best! And thus the agency AAA came into existence.

Catch my drift?

The movie is directed by Patrick Hughes. The story is written by Tom O’ Connor.

The Chemistry

The Hitman’s Bodyguard is all about the chemistry between its two lead actors. With that flaky storyline, it had to be. Surprisingly that’s really good.

Darius Kincaid: I will bust a cap in your ass.
Michael Bryce: Have you ever said “please”?
Darius Kincaid: Please, motherfucker!

Ryan Reynolds the deuteragonist plays the uptight guy keen on fulfilling his mission while Jackson is just relentless playing a guy full of himself.  Their trivial conversation about “how to do a thing” is pretty interesting, and most of the comedy is derived from that very equation. You have Michael Bryce trying to ensure that a certain way is followed for safety reasons, but Darius does the exact opposite being a guy who enjoys living on the edge.

Darius: I made that jump on one leg.
Michael: I made that jump without jumping.

There are plenty of laughs strewn across the movie. Some of them really enjoyable, others fail to tickle you. The great comic timing of Ryan comes into play more than often, and you realize the casting was done great with that pissed off face he makes.

still from The Hitman's Bodyguard movie

Salma Hayek brings more fun to the table by playing Darius’ wife. She is boisterous and equally high on expletives. Love how she calls Darius an unkillable Cucaracha.

Wasting Gary Oldman

When the villain isn’t as dangerous as he looks, it becomes a concern for a movie. Gary Oldman was roped in to play Vladislav Dukhovich the main antagonist in the movie who is calling the shots to stop Darius from reaching the court. Unfortunately, even though he has been provided with some great lines, and an accent to ace that, there is nothing he could do with a story-line that places him as an insignificant person against Darius. He ends up disappearing in a jiffy.

You fucked up when you shot my bodyguard.

All that talent goes to waste when you don’t use him enough. At least should have let him do something outrageous or contemptuous. He didn’t even reek of perversion. The flick ends up becoming all about his minions who come try to kill the couple.

Even there, the level of action is moderate. The energy, however, stays great and the stunts are performed effectively. The most stretched scene is that of Darius trying to escape on a motor boat while Bryce guards him using a bike. Then there are some cool car chases, bullets flying all around, close encounters and fist fights that end up making the movie worth watching.

You can order the movie from here:

The Final Verdict

The Hitman’s Bodyguard is average if not great. But it is entertaining nevertheless. Even if the plot just sounds like nothing but a road trip movie for its characters, the real fun happens when these two get to talking.

Go and watch it for yourself to enjoy its sweet nothings.

Check out reviews of other Ryan Reynolds movies.

Check out the trailer of The Hitman’s Bodyguard here:

The Space Between Us Review (2017) | How to Waste a Good Story

A beautiful concept wasted! I remember urging a lot of people to watch The Space Between Us owing to the sheer fact that its trailer tried to sell a dope story. I mean just try to image a child who’s born on Mars. He doesn’t know a thing about Earth, never been to it, everything he has learned so far is via a screen on his desk.

Now when you try to bring such a person to a world that he doesn’t understand, wouldn’t you be more interested in knowing about his perceptions? What he thinks about our planet? What fascinates him? It was supposed to be an exciting journey akin to the movie Room where you get to be at the same frequency as the protagonist of the story. Unfortunately, The Space Between Us is garish and shallow. It’s like a chick flick that is supposed to give you mere cheap thrills. With that last line, I must say teens are going to love it nevertheless.

Direction of The Space Between Us

Peter Chelsom directs nice. But the only problem is that he has to learn the difference between what’s deemed childish and what’s profound. The first half of The Space Between Us is quite intriguing. It grows great for a buildup but then mid-way after begins to derail. The movie doesn’t even have a morsel of gravitas to it from that point onwards and you wonder if it’s yet another teen movie after all.

still of Asa Butterfield and Britt Robertson in The Space Between Us

The point where he chose to go with the part where Gardner is trying to enjoy Tulsa as she blushes asking him to stop makes you want to shake your head so bad. It could have been put in subtly but Peter had to be loud about it.

“What is your favorite thing about Earth?”

Even as Gardner asks the aforementioned lines to strangers it feels like weirdly scooched in. He is suddenly saying that out of the blue without his character banking on something solid to chew upon. The movie chugs forward without focusing on how difficult it is for a Martian to adapt to our environment. Even Tulsa gets introduced in a snap. Don’t even think about going into the Science enclave!

You can buy The Space Between Us here:

That Awkward Plot Twist (Spoilers Ahead)

Gary is an Old Man. Why him? That’s one of those climax scenes the movie hides or rather tries to hide in an attempt to drop the mic eventually. It, of course, makes you question poor casting choices of the movie, even though Gary is an amazing actor, he doesn’t quite fit the bill, owing to how old he looks.

Gary Oldman‘s character Nathaniel Shepherd has a relationship with Sarah Elliot played by Janet Montgomery. When you see the movie take form there is one voice in your head that says Okay so Gary must be Janet’s father. But the movie hushes you soon and you stop thinking in that direction. It is a deliberate attempt to misguide you, and you can sense that as well.

But when you find out for real that Gary the Old Man is actually Gardner’s father it becomes weird and awkward at the same time. He just doesn’t feel right! Period.

The Final Verdict

The Space Between Us does put in you smiles. You like how the movie progresses. There is always that premonition there where you kind of predict what is going to happen. You know that there is a happy ending lurking given the theme of the movie. But all that stretching of cheesy lines and love doesn’t for a second let you get serious with it.

You can watch it if you want to feel some good romantic vibes, also if you are an avid Britt Robertson or Asa Butterfield fan. Just know that there isn’t anything dire to look forward to.

You can check out the trailer of The Space Between Us here:

Criminal Review (2016)

Terrible waste of talent!

Okay, so the cast of the Criminal will blow your mind away. But was it all really needed when you were trying to cook an under-cooked meal? When you look at the screen time people have in the flick, known faces that try to earn a role with their popularity meter have measly dialogues to deliver, you can’t help feel sorry for them. I will name them one by one.

SPOILER CRIMINAL CHARACTERS

  1. Ryan Reynolds: Although Criminal tries to cash in on his name, he has the most laconic role ever. He disappears with a cameo. Budget issues? I get it that it was supposed to be the storyline. But really, you kill him that early? At least delve into the details!
  2. Scott Adkins: The guy can do so much. But all Vromen asked him to do was stand next to Oldman taking orders, listening to what’s next in the course like a normal guy. That was pretty much it! Did the director even know he could fight? Should have taken tips to include a fight scene at least?
  3. Michael Pitt: All he did was wait, smoke, wait more, react to some failure, eventually got shot.
  4. Antje Traue: She looked promising for a while as she slithered in that T-X kinda feel. But where does she end up? Under a bashed pot!
  5. Tommy Lee Jones: He appeared to the scene when he wanted to expound terse memory concepts, and to get ravaged by another ‘Old’Man fury.
  6. Amaury Nolasco: He was just there.
  7. Alice Eve: Was she even there?

Taking the spotlight to other actors now, those who could really act. Starting off with Kevin Costner. He still has it in him. You have to give it to him. Had this plot demanded more of him, I have no doubt he could deliver. Gal Gadot was simply good. Gary Oldman gets under the skin of his character so good that you cannot even poke him without getting gouged at. He is definitely good. Unfortunately none of them knew what ground they were in. It was a landslide, and they were dancing on it.

BETTER DIRECTOR FOR CRIMINAL?

I wish the concept of Criminal found a better director. Definitely not Ariel Vromen. There is no subtlety in him. It flung me into minutes of boredom and insouciance in the beginning itself that it was hard to concentrate. Good thing Costner did some crazy stuff to bring back the Mojo. Otherwise, it was simply falling down.

I say, this movie is criminal. It deprived us of our time, and plundered us of our money.