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Baywatch Movie Review (2017) | No One Could Save it from Drowning

I wasn’t expecting much when I went to watch the Baywatch movie. In my defense, all I needed was a good laugh. Somehow I was convinced even though the movie wasn’t going to be that great, it would be funny at least. But boy was I disappointed. It is just downright cheesy, daft and so not funny.

Characters in Baywatch Movie

All these characters that are created just to pay homage to the original just seem so dispensable. From the trailers, I got the impression that Zac Efron was going to be funny throughout, and that he would keep doing weird stuff. But I was surprised to find his character Matt Brody so detached and unplugged that it sucked out the very definition of fun from him.

Rocky (Dwayne Johnson) just tries real hard to fill in those Mitch shoes, and he somehow looks good as a leader too. But then there is that terrible plot, so vapid and hollow that you can’t take anything going on seriously. We have Alexandra Daddario portraying Summer Quinn here posed against Zac. It’s the second time Rocky and Alexandra have done a movie together the first being San Andreas.

baywatch movie hunks rock and zac efron

Priyanka Chopra as Victoria Leeds is the least formidable villain ever chosen for a movie, and she has the most forgettable minders ever. To throw in some rib-tickling humour we have Jon Bass playing the character of Ronnie Greenbaum, but the screenplay is so badly written that even he couldn’t save the movie from drowning. His love interest is CJ Parker played by Kelly Rohrbach.

The character Ilfenesh Hadera plays is probably one that you wouldn’t remember. She ends up becoming a mere sidekick to The Rock.

David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson find their cameos in the movie but they end up being the worst cameos ever written. Where’s the subtlety, guys?

Direction of Baywatch Movie

Can’t believe it’s Seth Gordon, the director of Horrible Bosses, who has directed this pointless piece. Has he suddenly lost his sense of humour? Every scene he creates seems like an unnecessary anchor to the storyline. Some frames are simply there just waiting for a ridiculous thing to happen.

There is no element of surprise, there is no thrill. It is a dead run all along. There are quite candidly very few moments that genuinely crack you up. Half of the things are too vacuous to believe. There are so many times you end up shaking your head when you see all their doltish acts going on.

The only good thing about the flick is that it is headed somewhere. Even though there are dozens of gags and cheap thrills lying around at odd hours, you will be satisfied to see it reach the end.

You can watch it if you are a big Rocky or Zac Efron fan.

Here’s from where you can get it:


The Final Verdict

At the end of it, the Baywatch movie is just as shallow as it was supposed to be. With all the hot bodies running around on the beach, deliberately trying to be provocative and Zac doing us the honors showing us his redonkulous fatless cuts, it almost makes you want to hit the gym twice or thrice a day.

Baywatch is absolutely bland, written in glib phrases and packed so poorly that it makes you want to regret having watched it in the first place. The movie is like a 1 hour 56 min typification of our current world, where memes are jokes, hot bods are cool, getting drunk and puking in the pool is too, need I say more?

In a world of reboots, where the success rate of movies has been utterly awful, Baywatch movie is yet another gamble that goes wrong. Maybe it is time to stop with the retelling and focus more on some original ideas.

You can check out the trailer of Baywatch movie:

Central Intelligence Review (2016) | Fun While it Lasts

What a pleasant surprise! Going into the theater, I didn’t expect much from this Rocky-Hart venture that seemed oddly named as Central Intelligence. Whilst from the surface it appeared the same as any comedy movie Kevin Hart had in the past pounced upon, finding it good simply made my day.

DIRECTION OF CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE

This is what I expect from a good comedy flick – a good slow paced direction to keep you thoroughly engaged whilst throwing in some laughable bits every now and then. At the same time not compromising the crucial plot at play.

Rawson Marshall Thurber ensures the audience has plenty. There were well thought of comic bits strewn all across the movie, as he tries to work upon a rare build up to get to his punch lines. He will make you used to it, and you will be waiting with jaws wide open expecting a funny liner bomb to be dropped anytime.

THE ROCK AND HART CONNECTION

Central Intelligence is a buddy flick. Even though the protagonists are oddly paired, minutes into the movie and you will notice neither of them is a douche. They are totally nice guys and they gradually create a stunning chemistry that most Nice Guys movies profusely miss.

still of dwyane rock johnson with kevin hart in Central Intelligence movie

Kevin Hart’s Calvin Joyner is like a confused blend of perseverance and slapstick comedy. At dire moments when his emotional rivers go inundated, he reacts just as anybody of us would react, and that makes it both funny and relatable. That’s what Thurber pays attention to, letting Hart go savage at situational savagery.

SPOILER RIOT AHEAD:

CAMEOS

There are endearing cameos that make you go, “Hey! Jason Bateman’s in the movie.” Or “Melissa McCarthy’s in it too.” Whilst Jason gets a shot once again at the Bully storyline, (seriously I can’t see how he fits the bill there!), Melissa’s role is ephemeral. Aaron Paul has a good role for a cameo as Phil and he will make your heart melt when he goes “Bitch!” bringing in memories from Breaking Bad. Kumail Nanjiani beams you up with his perfect comic timing in a funny Airport distraction scene. Ryan Hansen as Steve was hilarious too.

There is plenty of dope action inscribed in Central Intelligence for a comedy movie which looks absolutely spectacular when it gets delivered by Dwayne Johnson. Hart makes it all better with his rib-tickling descriptions.

still of kevin hart and dwayne johnson in central intelligence movie

DOWNSIDES

On the big downside of the movie is Dwayne Johnson’s pathetic good guy acting. When I see him it feels like he is acting. Give me something that betrays it Rocky! That and the fact that the plot would make you go meh! We have seen too much of that sorts.

Another one is that it goes way too slow for a comedy movie at times. Also, Central Intelligence movie doesn’t retain something that will throw you into fits of laughter to be candid.

THE FINAL VERDICT

Overall Central Intelligence was very entertaining, had funny situations that squeezed out comedy. The movie becomes successful in giving an uncanny makeover to comedy movies.

Go watch!

Here’s the trailer of Central Intelligence movie:

Furious 7 Review (2015)

“For Paul”

Furious 7 is all about flying Lykan, shattered skyscrapers, mammoth bullets, Gatling rounds, super-amped destruction, relentless drone syndrome, Jaa’s Parkour, badass rides, skimpily clad models, exquisite close calls, death defying moments, Herculean jobs, mind numbing head-ons and badass action. This movie is an action-pack adrenaline pumping madness just like its predecessor. But does it have a great story? My answer would be a big No to that.

Wan unfortunately doesn’t have a good story in his baggage. What he still has is some dope action to exploit, and he manages to create insanity with that! Watch out for that insane car-dive and the skyscraper stunt! Most memorable ones! Humour shines fine by Tyrese Gibson’s presence, and he occasionally takes off the heat.

Furious 7 is thrilling throughout. Adrenaline keeps on pumping constantly. Destruction doesn’t stop. Cars keep getting totaled. Bullets fly in the air like flies. The flick has pretty great one-liners that are downright bad ass. Snappy and witty comebacks make the screenplay quite clever in a way. Dramatic bits are kind of average, but make a dash for awesomeness to pay some quality Pablo homage in the end.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

Statham makes a badass entry as Deckard Shaw into the lives of Furious guys with a dope fight with Hobbs. It is here we get to see that eye candy Rock Bottom that we have been waiting forever. Unfortunately he gets sidelined by an unconvincing side-story.

We already knew from the prequel, Shaw’s brother would be lurking in the shadows waiting to drop the chaotic bomb at Team Furious anytime. So he promised Dom via a phone call. And Bam! goes the ‘home’ in splinters with a sustained visual of 5-6 blasts occurring simultaneously that engulf the entire house. The predator calls for it and Dom gears up like a Daddy to teach him a lesson.

The entrance of Kurt Russell was so pathetic that it made us instantly hate him. I swear I saw perplexed people in the theatre wondering “Why?” out loud. Mr. Nobody’s addition to the tale was simply to weave two jobs that Dom could have lived without. Just so that he could find the hunter, he agrees to lick the candy Mr. Nobody was selling. But boy does it unroll into mind-numbing stunts! Skyscrapers hyperjump by the exotic Lykan hypersport would make your teeth turn into a nail clipper. Another pretty dope bit is the car sky-diving bit. Stunts like these ensure that the franchise isn’t dead yet. It will continue to flabbergast you, compel you to jump on your seat.

Unfortunately the screen time of Deckard Shaw is quite less, and he fails to create a villainy charm in the movie. He does pop up hither and thither to overthrow Dom’s plans but passes out weak as a very average forgettable villain. He looked puny compared to Dom fury.

The best thing however remains the show stopper – a perfect adieu to Paul. Final bits show Vin in pain, and you could almost read the tears that got masked by his acting. You could instantly comprehend and empathize with his loss. A series of flashbacks of Paul show up with Vin’s narration in the backdrop and your heart falls in a heavy pit. Such a big chunk tore away! You are left to ponder in tears. It was a great decision not to kill Pablo’s character. Giving him a respectful farewell from the franchise was really thoughtful.

In an action franchise like Fast and Furious, just remember you have to overlook everything. Logics are defied, Physics taps out to action, gravity stops working and time takes a hiatus for the protagonists. Just sit back and enjoy the action packed fun this movie promises to be and is. Be super-psyched and never forget Paul!