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Baywatch Movie Review (2017) | No One Could Save it from Drowning

I wasn’t expecting much when I went to watch the Baywatch movie. In my defense, all I needed was a good laugh. Somehow I was convinced even though the movie wasn’t going to be that great, it would be funny at least. But boy was I disappointed. It is just downright cheesy, daft and so not funny.

Characters in Baywatch Movie

All these characters that are created just to pay homage to the original just seem so dispensable. From the trailers, I got the impression that Zac Efron was going to be funny throughout, and that he would keep doing weird stuff. But I was surprised to find his character Matt Brody so detached and unplugged that it sucked out the very definition of fun from him.

Rocky (Dwayne Johnson) just tries real hard to fill in those Mitch shoes, and he somehow looks good as a leader too. But then there is that terrible plot, so vapid and hollow that you can’t take anything going on seriously. We have Alexandra Daddario portraying Summer Quinn here posed against Zac. It’s the second time Rocky and Alexandra have done a movie together the first being San Andreas.

baywatch movie hunks rock and zac efron

Priyanka Chopra as Victoria Leeds is the least formidable villain ever chosen for a movie, and she has the most forgettable minders ever. To throw in some rib-tickling humour we have Jon Bass playing the character of Ronnie Greenbaum, but the screenplay is so badly written that even he couldn’t save the movie from drowning. His love interest is CJ Parker played by Kelly Rohrbach.

The character Ilfenesh Hadera plays is probably one that you wouldn’t remember. She ends up becoming a mere sidekick to The Rock.

David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson find their cameos in the movie but they end up being the worst cameos ever written. Where’s the subtlety, guys?

Direction of Baywatch Movie

Can’t believe it’s Seth Gordon, the director of Horrible Bosses, who has directed this pointless piece. Has he suddenly lost his sense of humour? Every scene he creates seems like an unnecessary anchor to the storyline. Some frames are simply there just waiting for a ridiculous thing to happen.

There is no element of surprise, there is no thrill. It is a dead run all along. There are quite candidly very few moments that genuinely crack you up. Half of the things are too vacuous to believe. There are so many times you end up shaking your head when you see all their doltish acts going on.

The only good thing about the flick is that it is headed somewhere. Even though there are dozens of gags and cheap thrills lying around at odd hours, you will be satisfied to see it reach the end.

You can watch it if you are a big Rocky or Zac Efron fan.

Here’s from where you can get it:


The Final Verdict

At the end of it, the Baywatch movie is just as shallow as it was supposed to be. With all the hot bodies running around on the beach, deliberately trying to be provocative and Zac doing us the honors showing us his redonkulous fatless cuts, it almost makes you want to hit the gym twice or thrice a day.

Baywatch is absolutely bland, written in glib phrases and packed so poorly that it makes you want to regret having watched it in the first place. The movie is like a 1 hour 56 min typification of our current world, where memes are jokes, hot bods are cool, getting drunk and puking in the pool is too, need I say more?

In a world of reboots, where the success rate of movies has been utterly awful, Baywatch movie is yet another gamble that goes wrong. Maybe it is time to stop with the retelling and focus more on some original ideas.

You can check out the trailer of Baywatch movie:

Central Intelligence Review (2016) | Fun While it Lasts

What a pleasant surprise! Going into the theater, I didn’t expect much from this Rocky-Hart venture that seemed oddly named as Central Intelligence. Whilst from the surface it appeared the same as any comedy movie Kevin Hart had in the past pounced upon, finding it good simply made my day.

DIRECTION OF CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE

This is what I expect from a good comedy flick – a good slow paced direction to keep you thoroughly engaged whilst throwing in some laughable bits every now and then. At the same time not compromising the crucial plot at play.

Rawson Marshall Thurber ensures the audience has plenty. There were well thought of comic bits strewn all across the movie, as he tries to work upon a rare build up to get to his punch lines. He will make you used to it, and you will be waiting with jaws wide open expecting a funny liner bomb to be dropped anytime.

THE ROCK AND HART CONNECTION

Central Intelligence is a buddy flick. Even though the protagonists are oddly paired, minutes into the movie and you will notice neither of them is a douche. They are totally nice guys and they gradually create a stunning chemistry that most Nice Guys movies profusely miss.

still of dwyane rock johnson with kevin hart in Central Intelligence movie

Kevin Hart’s Calvin Joyner is like a confused blend of perseverance and slapstick comedy. At dire moments when his emotional rivers go inundated, he reacts just as anybody of us would react, and that makes it both funny and relatable. That’s what Thurber pays attention to, letting Hart go savage at situational savagery.

SPOILER RIOT AHEAD:

CAMEOS

There are endearing cameos that make you go, “Hey! Jason Bateman’s in the movie.” Or “Melissa McCarthy’s in it too.” Whilst Jason gets a shot once again at the Bully storyline, (seriously I can’t see how he fits the bill there!), Melissa’s role is ephemeral. Aaron Paul has a good role for a cameo as Phil and he will make your heart melt when he goes “Bitch!” bringing in memories from Breaking Bad. Kumail Nanjiani beams you up with his perfect comic timing in a funny Airport distraction scene. Ryan Hansen as Steve was hilarious too.

There is plenty of dope action inscribed in Central Intelligence for a comedy movie which looks absolutely spectacular when it gets delivered by Dwayne Johnson. Hart makes it all better with his rib-tickling descriptions.

still of kevin hart and dwayne johnson in central intelligence movie

DOWNSIDES

On the big downside of the movie is Dwayne Johnson’s pathetic good guy acting. When I see him it feels like he is acting. Give me something that betrays it Rocky! That and the fact that the plot would make you go meh! We have seen too much of that sorts.

Another one is that it goes way too slow for a comedy movie at times. Also, Central Intelligence movie doesn’t retain something that will throw you into fits of laughter to be candid.

THE FINAL VERDICT

Overall Central Intelligence was very entertaining, had funny situations that squeezed out comedy. The movie becomes successful in giving an uncanny makeover to comedy movies.

Go watch!

Here’s the trailer of Central Intelligence movie:

San Andreas Movie Review (2015) | Disaster of a Movie

San Andreas movie is one pathetic take on what would happen if the Earth suddenly decided to give up on us. Earthquakes and Tsunamis couldn’t save this disaster of a movie. So pathetic that it would make you question your life choices! Hell, it made me.

To begin with, we don’t have a good story, okay probably a clichéd one. Drama is literally absent in San Andreas movie, when you see confused faces, remote feelings that are further made shoddy by its poor screenplay. The latter department has just words, unfelt and bland.

Pool of Characters

Carla just goes on to embarrass us further by reacting awkwardly with dialogues like,

“You left my daughter alone?”

and creates a see-through anger glass that just becomes sad at one point. Dwayne Johnson, The Rock he is, didn’t have to try hard to play himself. Alexandra Daddario sizzles on screen but her inclusion seems deliberate by the casting director. Bringing Paul Giamatti into this was simply a waste of talent.

San Andreas movie wallpaper

Whilst the movie quaked, I thought probably a Tsunami would bring home a twist. But to my surprise, things just kept going downhill. There is no profundity in the movie. No gravity to frame creation. Pathetic actors that make everything just look crappier than it already was.

Trying really hard to look at the bright side, I would say visuals sometimes looked rad. But does it really matter when you make such a bad flick?

The Final Verdict of San Andreas Movie

To sum it all up, Brad Peyton just sucks as a director. He has so much to learn about human emotions, and how not to get carried away by a script that seemingly looks cool from the outside.

I think we can let this one slip provided the level of awesomeness Dwayne Johnson delivered in Furious 7 last month.

You can check out the trailer of San Andreas movie here: